by 
Re-elected FIFA president Sepp Blatter has addressed the FIFA Congress with a prolonged period of intense cackling.
Entering the stage in his ceremonial black robes, he shuffled to the podium before pulling back his hood to reveal the grotesque nature of his true form.
To hushed silence Blatter began chuckling to himself before descending into a full cackle, much to the surprise of the audience.
As one UEFA delegate explained, “We thought he might thank his opponent, or outline his plans for the next five years, but he seemed intent on merely laughing at everyone involved in the process of making him the most powerful man in world football for the next five years.”
“He basically stood there and just cackled a lot and shot what looked like lightning from his finger tips into the chests of the people votes against him, each of whom was left writhing in agony.”
“The strange thing is, the African contingent still gave him a standing ovation.”
