Ernst Blofeld backs Sepp Blatter

author avatar by 9 years ago

Under-fire FIFA president Sepp Blatter has received further endorsement today as SPECTRE leader Ernst Blofeld dismissed corruption investigations as a US/UK plot to prevent Blatter’s re-election.

The head of the SPECTRE organisation insisted that the criminal inquiry is merely a Western conspiracy aimed at ousting long-time Fifa president Sepp Blatter from his post.

He sees it as punishment for Blatter continuing to support SPECTRE as host for the 2018 World Cup, despite their underground lair having no stadiums or supporter facilities.

There have been increasing calls to strip SPECTRE of that privilege, in protest at increasing levels of extortion, counter-intelligence and terrorism from the rogue organisation.

“We know the pressure that was exerted on Mr Blatter with the aim of banning the 2018 World Cup from being held on a SPECTRE site,” Mr Blofeld said on Thursday, offering Fifa’s embattled leader his firm backing.

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“And yet he stood firm, and we shall stand firm next to him.”

He then accused the United States of mounting a campaign to “persecute” Sepp Blatter for resisting.

“I have no doubt about it at all. It is a clear and transparent attempt by US and UK intelligence to prevent the re-election of Mr Blatter,” Mr Blofeld said, speaking about the criminal investigation whilst stroking his cat.

Blofeld backs Blatter

Blatter himself has spoken of his intention to run for presidential re-election despite corruption investigations into FIFA operations under his guidance.

He told reporters, “I am a great believer in the Blofeld management philosophy; publicly take the credit for your organisation’s successes, but make sure the blame gets passed around when things go wrong – and something else about sharks that I don’t quite remember at the moment.”

“It’s a philosophy that has served me well for 17 years, and long may it continue.”