Pope Francis has claimed not to have watched television since 1990, after putting his foot through the screen watching West Germany beat Argentina in the final of Italia ’90.
The Argentinian Pope said he has not been able to even glance at a television screen since watching Andreas Brehme score an 85th minute penalty to defeat his beloved Argentina in the World Cup final.
“Brehme haunts my dreams,” the Pope told Argentine newspaper La Voz Del Pueblo.
“Monzon should never have been sent off for fouling that diving shit Jurgen Klinsmann – he went down like he’d been hit by a sniper. Without that incident the result would have been very different.”
“I lost it a bit when he scored the penalty, and the TV went halfway across the room.
“It turns out the penance I was given from my own priest was to never watch television again.”
“Oh, and ten thousand Hail Marys.”
Pope doesn’t want television
As head of the Catholic Church and God’s representative on earth for 1.2 billion Catholics around the world, the Pope said it’s critical that he doesn’t move with the times.
The Pope continued, “It’s crucial that the church doesn’t embrace the modern world in any way whatsoever, and my avoiding television is a useful part of the that.”
“Though to be honest, it sounds like with the advent of X Factor and Big Brother I’m well out of it.”