Conspiracy theorists blame billion-dollar wedding cake industry for Irish gay marriage victory

author avatar by 9 years ago

Internet conspiracy theorists are claiming the result of the Irish gay marriage referendum is due to vote rigging by wedding cake manufacturers.

Pointing the finger at ‘big cake’, theorists are keen to point out the lobbying power of cash-rich big business.

Online commenters have been quick to blame the outcome on behind the scenes manipulation at the highest level.

“You always get the outcome the 1% want,” said regularly-posting obsessive fruitcake Wayne Gherkin.

“Everyone knows voting is controlled by shadowy, faceless corporations.”

“So who benefits here? You can follow the money right back to baked confectioners and Icing sugar manufacturers.”

“It’s all about the money”, he added. “Democracy is a sham. Wake up sheeple!”

Irish gay marriage vote

Wayne went on to outline a theory involving GCHQ, Mossad, Majestic 12 and faked Moon Landings, but we kinda switched off during that bit.

When told that gay couples might want to marry because they like each other a lot, Wayne patiently explained that was only because of a Yakuza mind-control ray.

“Don’t drink the Kool-Aid”, he said.

“Especially not at a wedding.”