Friday 22 May 2015

Kent earthquake victims sign lucrative movie rights deal

Kent Earthquake

Victims of last night’s Kent earthquake have signed a lucrative deal to for the story to be told in a 2016 Hollywood blockbuster.

Tentatively titled ‘The Crack Strikes Back’, the movie will follow Kent’s many heroes as they struggle to cope with last night’s earthquake that measured 4.3 on the Richter scale.

An early draft follows Sandwich resident Simon Williams as he is awoken briefly at 2:50am before running around the house to make sure people woke up to feel the thing that might have woken them up.

Script Editor Chuck Matthews told us, “Simon is a reluctant hero, and one who is not always appreciated – with many people telling him to get lost and to let them sleep.”

“But he is undeterred, carrying out a thorough analysis of the entire house for things that might be damaged or moved by the light shaking.”

“He is relentless in his pursuit of potential damage, despite the insistence of others that ‘everything is ok please go back to sleep you’re making too much noise’ – this is where the film gets its conflict.”

“There is an unexpected twist when he visits the kitchen, and CGI team are already working out how to accurately depict a breaking mug in 3D. It might be worth an Imax visit just for that scene alone.”

“But I can’t say any more, as I don’t want to ruin the ending for you.”

“Let’s just say he gets the girl.”

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