True face of Shakespeare revealed as Bobby Ball

author avatar by 8 years ago

A three hundred year old botany book has revealed that William Shakespeare was identical to comedian Bobby Ball.

Historians have long since speculated on what Shakespeare may have looked like, with many assuming that he had red hair, a beard and sported contemporary fashionable Elizabethan dress.

However, the discovery of the botany book reveals Shakespeare ‘in his prime;’ a short man with a shock of curly black hair, a cheeky grin, and a pair of braces.

The caption under the picture is faded, but two words are clear – ‘on Tommy’

The botany book is being studied closely by historians looking for other clues to Elizabethan mysteries.

“For the first time, we are seeing what could be a true likeness of Sir Francis Drake,” said historian Simon Sharma

“And the resemblance to Sid Little is, frankly, impossible to ignore.”

“Queen Elizabeth is the spitting image of Faith Brown and if the Earl of Leicester doesn’t look like Paul Daniels then I don’t know who does.”

“This book is likely to cause us to completely re-evaluate what we know about both what Elizabeth I’s court may have looked like, and clearly, how much fun it must have been.”

Bobby Ball was unavailable for comment, but issued a statement through his publicist saying simply – ‘Rock on William’.