Nobodies enter house no-one cares about to do nothing of importance

author avatar by 9 years ago

A bunch of people who you don’t know have entered a house you don’t care about to do things of no importance, reports revealed this morning.

With Big Brother series 16 now underway on Channel 5, the nation has greeted the news with complete indifference.

Many have struggled to summon even the tiniest of shits about what Channel 5 are calling the ‘television event of the year’.

“Is that still going on?” asked television owner Simon Williams.

“I just don’t see the appeal. If I wanted to watch morons sitting around arguing about things I don’t care about then I’d watch Prime Minister’s Questions.”

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“I’ll be honest, I see no possible reason why anyone would even entertain the idea of going into the Big Brother house, short of trying to become famous for nothing more than doing something horrific on television.”


Big Brother series 16

Odds for the latest series are already shortening, with bookies unable to determine a favourite between the loud one, the one who doesn’t wear very much and the one who doesn’t realise he’s gay yet.

A Ladbrokes spokesperson explained, “The number of bets we’ve already taken on this series is just further evidence that people will bet on anything.”

“Literally. Anything.”