Black market tickets reach £1500 to see Paddy Ashdown eat his hat

author avatar by 9 years ago

People who want to be able to say ‘I was there’ when Paddy Ashdown ate his hat are willing to pay up to £1500 for the privilege, according to reports this morning.

After telling the BBC that he would eat his hat if their exit poll had correctly predicted the complete annihilation of the Liberal Democrats, table-side seats began exchanging hands at massively inflated prices.

Politics fan Simon Williams told us, “This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to see someone in politics not only be proven wrong, but to be made to eat their words – literally.”

“You can’t put a price on that. Well, actually you can, and it was about £1500 last time I checked.”

Paddy Ashdown’s hat

Others have speculated that any hat-eating will not be forthcoming.

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As one voter said, “Look, if the only reason you’re genuinely expecting some hat-eating is due to the solemn pledge of a Liberal Democrat, then I really wouldn’t hang around waiting for it for too long.”

“He probably won’t eat the hat, so much as agree to price lots of people out of hat-wearing altogether.”