‘No Royal babies under a Labour government’ claims David Cameron

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David Cameron has claimed a Tory Government provides the best environment for a Royal baby.

“You only have to look at the evidence,” he told voters yesterday.

“Prince George and Princess Charlotte? Born under a Tory Government. Princes William and Harry? Tory Government.”

“Based on that cold, hard, scientific evidence, I think it’s clear that if you vote Tory, you’ll get bloody loads of Royal babies.”

Labour were quick to refute the claims.

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“What about Prince Edward?” said Ed Miliband.

“Two royal babies from him, regardless of what the rumours might have said, and both under a Labour Government.”

Nick Clegg also weighed in.

“Let’s not forget that this was a Tory/Lib Dem coalition, so I don’t think all the credit for these Royal babies should go to the David Cameron.

“Without the Lib-dems to reign in the Tories, who’s to say whether we’d have had any Royal babies at all? You just don’t know.”

The new Royal baby seems to have provided a small economic feel-good bounce, with sales of flags, tea-towels and egg-cups to idiots quadrupling over the weekend.

Should the Tories remain in Government, they are expected to rent the new Royal baby to China to help pay off the deficit.