After Question Time criticism that Conservative policies lack any moral dimension, a hastily edited manifesto has been released with the words ‘moral dimension’ added several times.
Conservative HQ said they had taken the comments to heart, and had sought to address them head on.
As one party insider explained, “At CCHQ late last night we sat in a room and asked ourselves what a moral dimension actually is.”
“There were a lot of blank faces, as you can imagine – some thought it was a science term that Stephen Hawking had used, while others thought it had won the Grand National last year.”
“Eventually someone said it was when you tell people there is a moral dimension.”
“That seemed good enough for us, so we have set about adding the words, ‘and of course this policy has a moral dimension’ to all of our press releases and online manifesto pledges.”
“We hope it will be enough to convince people of our sincere desire to look like our policies have a moral dimension.”
“And of course, that sincere desire to look like our policies have a moral dimension, very much has a moral dimension.”