Ain’t no party like an S-Club party, conclude scientists after 15 years of research

author avatar by 9 years ago

After 15 years and millions of pounds in research, scientists say they have formally proven the hypothesis ‘There ain’t no party like an S-Club party’.

The bold claim was first made on Top of the Pops by Paul Cattermole in 1999, and has provoked intense debate in the scientific community ever since.

Researchers from the Oxford University Department of Partyology and Americans at the MIT Partyographical Institute have competed to prove or disprove the theorem.

“There was intense competition from sources like Andrew W-K and Orson,” we were told by a badly hungover scientist.

“And more recently L’il Flip, plus a long-running controversy over whether Madonna’s ‘Holiday, celebrate’ counted as a party or not.”

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“We’d sit up long into the night, writing theorems, chugging tins and snorting coke off topless ladies in pursuit of the truth,” he said.

However, in a late-night breakthrough in the kitchen of a squat in Haringey the equation below was formally solved over the weekend, ending years of debate in favour of S-Club:


“It’s a breakthrough comparable Fermat’s Last One For the Road,” our contact said.

“Next up we’ll be investigating whether Fighting for your Right (To Party) is sufficient deterrent against ISIS and al-Qaeda”.

“Come on Hamza, let’s go party,” he added.