Royal Family wondering how to explain why new Royal baby is black

author avatar by 9 years ago

There will be no announcement on the arrival of the new royal baby until the royal family decides how to explain the fact that it is clearly black.

The perfectly healthy baby was born over a week ago to proud parents William and Catherine, though the birth itself has not been officially reported whilst watertight excuses are prepared for the child’s obvious ethnicity.

A royal insider told us, “As you can imagine, it’s a little tense around here at the moment.

“At first they thought it was the lighting in the room, but then it became clear the baby is very obviously black. Like, could-have-been-a-child-on-the-Cosby-show black.

“The only person who wasn’t shocked was Catherine, who remained perfectly calm and immediately reeled off a load of specialist genetic research which shows how black babies can occur naturally in a white family.

“She’s surprisingly well read you know.”

Our insider continued, “Genealogists are currently searching both family trees for a black person, as apparently it can skip a generation or two.

“They’ve gone back 400 hundred years now, so that’s looking an unlikely cause.

“As far as explaining it goes, the leading options put forward at the moment are for William to put on a lot of fake tan and pretend the baby’s colouring is natural, right through to a Michael Jackson style skin-whitening regime that will see the child become blonde and blue-eyed by the time it’s ten.

“We actually think a lot of people would be perfectly happy with a black royal baby, it’s just that with the rise of UKIP there’ll be plenty of people wanting to send it back where it came from.

“And Catherine’s not keen on that idea.”