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The Chihuahua which Paris Hilton famously carried around in her handbag has finally died of embarrassment, we can report.
Hilton kept the poor, benighted animal in her handbag for 14 long, miserable years until it finally entered a far, far better world last night.
The Chihuahua, called Tinkerbell, is believed to have finally passed away when the embarrassment of wearing ‘the most delightful little diamond-studded pink-frilled two piece and tiara’ finally tipped her over the edge into a terminal decline.
A source close to Tinkerbell said, “For years she would spend her days mortified at the abomination she had become under Paris’ ownership.”
“How many self-respecting dogs own cashmere sweaters and silk neckerchiefs? None, that’s how many.”
“She was derided amongst her own kind and longed for the blessed relief of death. Finally she is at peace.”
Paris Hilton’s dog
The fashion for keeping miniature animals in handbags first appeared in the early 2000’s amongst people who like their personal accessories to smell of dog piss, and has proven to be inexplicably popular.
Entire breeds of miniature dog were created which existed solely to fill the clutch bags of witless socialites with foul-smelling droppings.
“it’s the end of an era, really,” said fashion correspondent Julian Ferret-Startler.
“Paris really single-handedly created the trend for tiny shit-machines in your handbag, and she stuck with it through thick and thin.”
“I expect she’s completely distraught. What’s going to relieve itself in her purse now?”
A spokesman for Paris Hilton said she hoped to move on from the death of her beloved pet, and aimed to start a new trend by keeping incontinent pigeons in her undercrackers.
