We are now just 3 or 4 more capsized boats away from taking action, confirms EU

author avatar by 9 years ago

The European Union has today responded to cries of ‘how many deaths until you take action’ with the answer that it’s probably a few hundred more yet.

In response to growing criticisms an EU spokesperson stated that ‘about 3 or 4 more boats full of people, I reckon’ would be the number acceptable deaths before international authorities were spurred into action.

“Don’t get me wrong,” added the spokesperson.

“Two Titanic’s worth of dead refugees at the bottom of the sea is pretty nasty, but that’s not how international politics works.”

“Things would have to really, really be fucked up, or at least begin to start happening to white people, before we are left with no options but to take action.”

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EU to take action on drowned migrants

The official statement came just hours after several authorities pledged to increase funding to rescue programmes.

In Italy Mediterranean cruise ships will now be equipped with whistles and flashing lights while in Greece the state funded coast guard has been told he has to come in an hour earlier on Wednesdays.

International outcry even prompted action in the UK, where the Royal Coastguard offered to throw Katie Hopkins into the sea as part of an undisclosed training exercise.