Queen furious as family yet again ignores Amazon wish list for birthday presents

author avatar by 9 years ago

The Queen is furious after family members went off script for her birthday presents yet again, completely ignoring her carefully curated Amazon wish list.

The Queen celebrated her 89th birthday with a series of presents relatives thought were both thoughtful and generous, despite her making it abundantly clear precisely what she wanted in the weeks leading up to today.

A palace insider told us, “First up was Charles, who had painted a water-colour of her Corgis in the gardens of Balmoral – it was pretty good actually, he might be a bit of moron but he can paint.”

“But she was furious.  I think her exact words were ‘this doesn’t look like the Fast & Furious Blu Ray box set Charlie’, before giving him the stern eye.”

“She said ‘Look, I literally can not make this any clearer – I’ve listed everything I want right there online, and all you have to do is point a servant at it and get them to buy it for you, so you can give it to me’.”

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“Charles looked pretty upset and left soon after that.”

“Andrew didn’t fare any better with his handmade pinboard which I think he got on Not On The High Street.”

“Philip got her a voucher for a driving experience at Silverstone, which she tore up in front of him.”

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Others on the staff said they knew it was going to be a tough day after Buckingham Palace received zero Amazon deliveries in the last week.

They did say one family member had got it right, telling us, “The only one she’s happy with Harry, he sent her a card from Australia and a large bottle of Gin.”