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Defence Secretary Michael Fallon has kicked off the name-calling phase of the election campaign by accusing Ed Miliband of having a pooey bum face.
Fallon suggested that Ed Miliband doesn’t wipe his bottom very well and that having a face like a bum means he won’t make a very good prime minister.
The accusations were refuted by Labour officials and Miliband himself, who insisted that he takes great care in wiping his bottom, and that should he be elected prime minister his bottom will always remain pristine.
Voter Simon Williams said he was certainly swayed by the accusations.
“How can I, in good conscience, vote for someone who doesn’t take bum cleanliness seriously?”
“I mean, Labour say they take it seriously, and that they won’t have a pooey bum face, but if that was true then why would Michael Fallon just make something like that up?”
Fallon beings name calling
David Cameron defended Michael Fallon’s comments, insisting that Labour would happily have a pooey bum if the SNP told them to.
He told reporters, “Labour might say publicly that they all have clean bottoms, and that they are committed to clean bottoms, but the simple fact is that if the SNP demand pooey bottoms in order to form a coalition, then Ed Miliband would agree to it in a heartbeat.”
“He also has boogers in his hair you know.”
