As dashcam footage of unarmed black man being shot by an American police officer was released, officers have expressed deep concern black men might start shooting back rather than running away.
Police forces across America have faced increased budgetary pressure in recent years and have cut costs by replacing expensive firearms training and gun ranges with black people.
Forces have also been delighted by the reduction in paperwork generated by simply shooting suspects rather than going to all the trouble of arresting them.
“The good times can’t last forever,” said a police spokesman.
“Clearly if you shoot enough unarmed, black guys who are running away the danger exists they might start getting guns and defending themselves.”
“We’re police officers. We’re not trained to deal with that level of violence.”
In the face of this risk, police forces have demanded improved body armour and more powerful weaponry to deal with any emerging threat.
When a reporter suggested the police could alternatively try shooting slightly fewer unarmed suspects, he was called a ‘limp-wristed Limey pinko faggot’ and escorted to the door.
“I can’t stand liberals like you,” they were told.
“Goddammit, if you were a black guy with his back to me I’d waste your ass.”