Doggers across northern Britain were treated to a magnificent view of the Northern Lights last night.
One of the true wonders of the natural world, the aurora Borealis is caused by charged particles emitting light when they strike the upper atmosphere.
Normally only visible in the Arctic, freak conditions made the phenomenon visible to outdoor sex enthusiasts across the north in a rare display.
Isolated and dimly lit car parks were illuminated in the early hours by a cascade of green and gold light, making leaving headlights on to see what was going on briefly unnecessary.
Doggers have reported lines of cars filled with people briefly stuck dumb by the beauty of the event before they went back to filming each other’s genitals on their phones.
“I’d gone up to the dogging site last night on the off chance an actual lass would turn up”, said Darren Greaves of Rotherham.
“No such luck, but I did get to see an awe-inspiring display of natural majesty which truly made me question the brevity of existence and my place in the universe.”
“So the evening wasn’t a complete loss, even if I did have to toss myself off.”
Doggers are now reported to be looking forward to the annual Perseid meteor shower, which will provide an all too brief display of natural wonder before getting back to sitting in a car at 3am with a thermos and a copy of Razzle.