Every Welwyn Hatfield candidate revealed to be Grant Shapps in disguise

author avatar by 9 years ago

Every parliamentary candidate in the Welwyn Hatfield constituency is actually Grant Shapps under another pseudonym, we can exclusively report today.

Suspicions were raised when Ukip candidate Trang Spapsha refused to be interviewed in a head-to-head with Mr. Shapps yesterday, leading to questions being asked about labour’s Gnat Shrappas, Libdem candidate Sherpa Pangths, and Monster Racing Loony candidate Parp not Shag.

Investigations into the Green candidate, a voodoo priest called Papa Shangrat, are continuing.

One voter reported having ‘a lovely chat’ with her MP on the doorstep.

However she told us, “Then five minutes later the doorbell went again and it was the same man in a false nose and glasses claiming to be from Ukip.”

NewsThump best selling notebooks

“It was really awkward.”

In total Mr Shapps is alleged to have come back four times, wearing a wig, a false beard, and a pair of sunglasses and a bushy moustache.

“This is a matter of great concern, and we hope the investigation can be concluded swiftly”, said head of pressure-group Liberty Shappsi Chakrabarti.