‘Poldark’ criticised for not starring Benedict Cumberbatch

author avatar by 9 years ago

The BBC’s new big budget period drama has been attacked by viewers for not featuring Benedict Cumberbatch, according to reports this morning.

“Poldark”, a tale of 18th Cornish smugglers and derring-do, was advertised as starring ‘the sexy one out of the Hobbit films”, leading to ire when people found out that didn’t actually mean Cumberbatch.

“I’d got the kids to bed and settled down with a bottle of red and some toffees to suck on furiously whenever Benedict said something clever and gave the camera a knowing, otter-like gaze”, said Mel Harper from Newton Aycliffe.

“And all I got was some bloke who played a midget that shagged some kind of fairy.”

“I barely got halfway through my toffees, even when he took his shirt off.”

“Sort it out, BBC.”

Poldark on BBC

A spokesman for the BBC apologised for the omission of Cumberbatch, but stressed that the actor was appearing on Graham Norton, QI, Have I got News For You and other shows on various BBC channels at the same time.

However, viewers remain unconvinced.

“I just can’t get into a drama unless it’s got his tremendous acting ability in it”, said Mel.

“It’s an intellectual thing. His gravitas and skill of expressing nuanced emotions helps me engage with character.”

“Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to lean against the tumble dryer whilst I watch that episode of Sherlock where he snogs Moriarty.”