Man forced to load dishwasher like bomb-disposal expert to prevent wife exploding

author avatar by 9 years ago

Basingstoke resident Simon Williams has been forced to load the dishwasher like some kind of bomb disposal expert, for fear of his wife exploding again.

After a series of high-profile loading mistakes that led to several explosions in recent weeks, Williams is said to have used extreme care when loading the dishwasher after last night’s dinner party.

As one witness told us, “It was a tense situation, definitely.

“It was an eight-person dinner party, with three courses, plus drinks and coffee – dishwasher loading doesn’t get any more complex than that.

“Something like that could see an ordinary man triggering a massive explosion in seconds. You put a bowl where the plates should go and she goes ‘kaboom!’ – it’s all over. Utter carnage for everyone within a 20 feet radius.

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“Knowing precisely where to put the dinner plates, in which order, and which cutlery goes in which holder is tricky, even when the pressure is off, like in a training exercise – but this was premier league stuff.

“I’ve got to be honest, when he put the dinner plates in facing the wrong way round everyone took cover – we thought that was it. But he quickly spotted his mistake before letting go of the plate, thank God.

“No-one dared talking to him, or offering advice – anything which disrupted his concentration risked complete disaster.

“The sweat was dripping off his nose towards the end, but he managed to complete the task without setting her off once.

“The stress was unbelievable – I honestly don’t know how he does this every day.”