Fox News launches 24-hour rolling apology channel

author avatar by 9 years ago

After a series of high-profile climb-downs on inaccurate stories, the Fox News network has launched a 24-hour rolling apology channel to keep up with demand.

The station has recently made humiliating retractions of claims that Birmingham is a no-go zone for non-Muslims, that their reporter Brian Williams came under fire in Iraq when he didn’t, and inaccurate reports on the Affordable Care Act.

Fox News has still received wide support from major sponsors and affiliates who wish to retain close ties to their aggressive style of reporting, regardless of what the voices in their heads tell them to say at that particular moment. 

The new channel will feature an up-to-the-second update on breaking apologies every twenty minutes, along with in-depth reports and panel discussions on quite what they got wrong this time.

There will also be a new segment called ‘Grovel!’ – a daily hour-long feature examining subjects they haven’t got wrong yet but undoubtedly will very soon.

“This is a major development in the Fox brand and our stable of hard-hitting reports and their subsequent retractions,” said CEO Roger Ailes.

“We hope the Fox Oops! channel will rapidly become people’s no.1 destination for the latest corrections, amendments, revisions, and mea culpas.”

Fox Oops!, whose logo will be a picture of Rupert Murdoch eating a crow, will launch on February 28th.

*Stop Press* Sorry, that’s March 3rd

*Stop Stop Press* April 9th. Sorry again.

In the UK it has been suggested that The Guardian newspaper might follow a similar policy, but when asked they issued a statement reading, “Teh Guerdien hav nevr getted anerthnig wnorg.”