In the wake of endless prevaricating over the format of a televised pre-election leaders debates, the nation has asked that the idea be dropped altogether and replaced by a one-off Thunderdome contest.
“It’s pretty clear they’re not keen on the currently proposed format,” said political commentator Nick Jackson.
“Cameron doesn’t want to debate Farage. Miliband doesn’t want to debate anyone. Clegg won’t take part unless there’s a big neon sign reminding everyone who he is.”
“So how about we just stick them in a big scaffolding cage with a bunch of axes and swords and settle it that way?”
Focus groups have responded well to the suggestion, with a mocked-up image of Nigel Farage being chased around by a large fat man in a gimp mask with a chainsaw – or Alex Salmond as he’s better known – gaining over 97% approval ratings.
Bookies have already begun offering odds on the outcome.
“Natalie Bennett looks like a scrapper, with a wiry Kung-Fu strength”, said a spokesman from ladbrokes.
“But you can’t rule out David Cameron going bugnuts with a whopping great mallet. It’s probably too close to call.”
We asked Number 10 for comment and were told that the Prime Minister was regretfully too busy to take part in such an event, but that he’d be delighted to send Boris Johnson in his place.