Sir John Chilcot has been forced to deny claims that his Iraq war report has been delayed until after the General Election because ‘he spent all his time in his room playing Xbox’.
The controversy began when Sir John announced another delay to the report that he began in 2009.
“It is with great regret that I find myself forced to delay in the publication of my report into the Iraq war of 2003,” he said
“But whilst I can confirm that I definitely did the report, I’m afraid that the dog ate it.”
However, his claims were dramatically rubbished by his Mum.
“Dog?” She said.
“We haven’t even got a dog. I’ll tell you why he’s late with his report, he’s been up in his room all the time playing on his Xbox.”
Sir John hit back immediately.
“Sorry, did I say the dog ate it? I meant I’ve been ill, and I had loads and loads of other reports to do for other Governments and then my computer crashed and lost all the work which I had definitely done.”
“Shut up Mum,” he added, before stamping upstairs to his bedroom and slamming the door behind him.
The Xbox gamertag sIrJoHnChIlCoTKILLLZZ was seen online for the rest of the day.