Death rate amongst white Ebola victims holding steady at zero

author avatar by 10 years ago

Doctors in Northampton are on high alert in order to keep the number of white people killed by Ebola at zero.

After another suspected case of Ebola was announced, many around the country have reacted with shock that another white person might have contracted the deadly disease.

However, they have also been reassured by the statistics which currently point to a full recovery for those white people who become infected.

Medical researcher Simon Williams told us, “I don’t want us to get blazé about it, but more white people have been killed by vending machines falling on them in the last year, than Ebola.”

“I’m just saying don’t panic every time you hear about Ebola.”

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“Well, unless you’re not caucasian that is – then you might want to panic a little bit.”

“Rest assured, the treatments available to white victims is truly second to none, and will remain like this for a while yet.”

“We’ll probably start work on a vaccine of some sort in the near future, but whilst no white people have actually died from Ebola, there are plenty of other white people diseases we can focus on.”

“Fat pills, for example, that’s where the money is at these days.”