After the Daily Mail ran a story promoting ‘Doctors’ who claim homeopathy can cure Ebola, everyone suggested it would be a great idea to let them try it on themselves.
The Mail promoted ‘doctors’ who have been trying to treat sufferers with homeopathy, reporting that they could have cured patients if it weren’t for ‘armchair intellectuals’ at the World Health Organisation.
Non moron Simon Williams told us, “It’s an interesting theory – can homeopathy cure ebola – and I think the only way to definitely test this is to give homeopathy peddlers a hefty dose of ebola and a bottle of sugar pills.”
“I’m guessing a decent snog – with tongues – of the first ebola sufferer they find would be enough to kick-start the process.”
“And I’m open to letting them have the full range of homeopathic treatments available to them. They can have cases of little sugar pills that once had some water on them that might have remembered something that was once near it.”
“If they get better, then maybe we can look at some more research, but if they die, then on the bright-side it’s one less homeopathy peddler.”
Daily Mail homeopathy
Homeopathic expert Dr Medha Durge said homeopathy was a scientific treatment, if you’re willing to suspend all belief in anything scientific.
“It’s based on the principle that water can remember stuff that it has been in contact with. Homeopathy pills don’t contain any active ingredient, it just had some water on it that was once in contact with something and then diluted to the point where none of the original substance remains.”
“But the trick is that water only remembers things if you shake it like a properly trained homeopath. That’s why it doesn’t remember all the excrement, or what you did in the shower last Wednesday.”
“Yes, I know it sounds like complete nonsense, but on the plus side there’s absolutely no peer-reviewed double-blind control studies to say that homeopathy actually works.”
“No, that’s not it – I mean, on the plus side lots of people pay money for it because I’ve convinced them that it works – so it must be true.”