US adds FIFA to Axis of Evil

author avatar by 8 years ago

The US has expanded the Axis of Evil to include World football governing body, FIFA.

The Axis of evil, named by President George w. Bush in his 2002 State of the Union speech previously included Iran, Iraq, and North Korea.

It is thought that FIFA’s recent report entitled ‘Why we’re brilliant and all the others are unmitigated shits especially England,’ is the trigger for their inclusion.

The FA welcomed the announcement.

“About bloody time,” said Chairman Greg Dyke.

“This is a grotesque, bloated and corrupt organisation. Not like the FA.”

“After all, when it came out that we’d all been given nice watches as bribes, we sent them straight back. No messing. We didn’t even have to wait to be told.”

Axis of evil

“We have amassed a vast dossier on the crimes of FIFA,” said a spokesperson for the White House.

“They’ve accepted bribes, they’ve given bribes, they flout local regulations, they run an active slave trade, they worship the devil, they leave the toilet seat up, they don’t serve dolphin-friendly tuna, and we have a great deal of evidence to suggest it was them who attached a pogo-stick to the bottom of the Philae lander.”

Despite the accusations, FIFA remained defiant.

“This announcement is provocative and unwarranted. FIFA will defend itself against this constant harassment and slander,” said a spokesperson.

“Frankly, Sepp’s been looking forward to trying out the army of evil robo-soldiers he’s built in his secret lair under a volcano. So bring it on America.”