Three-hour lunches combat obesity, claim doctors

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Three-hour lunches washed down with several bottles of wine are a better way of tackling obesity than calorie counting, leading doctors claim.

Writing in the Postgraduate Medical Journal (PMJ), the doctors urged the overweight in Britain to over-indulge over more sustained periods if they wished to reduce their chances of heart attacks and strokes.

Citing the lifestyle of Mediterranean residents, Dr Sheila Mount said the findings could revolutionise the lives of fat people across the UK.

“Telling the obese that their best route to avoiding an early grave is an early lunch and a little sleep must be manna from Heaven,” she told reporters.

“Well, according to our latest research that is exactly what they should do.”

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“Just take a look at the Italian or the Spanish way of life.”

“They slope off at noon and commence eating and drinking, sometimes not finishing until 3 O’clock – when they might need a nap to recover.”

“It hasn’t done their economies any harm, has it?”

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She continued, “It’s all about mindset. If your focus over lunch is to cram as much in as possible in as short a time as possible, of course you’ll overindulge.”

“But give you three hours and you’ll definitely eat less. Probably. Well, maybe – it kind of depends how greedy you are.”

Many employers have warned their rotund workforces of the perils of extending their lunch breaks beyond the traditional British standard.

“Extending your life at the expense of productivity is an intolerable trade-off, particularly when we have pensions to honour.”

“Extending productivity at the expense of your life?”

“Now we’re talking.”