Wednesday 29 October 2014

Every UK airport to be prefixed with the word ‘London’

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Following the renaming of London Oxford airport, plans have been announced to rename every mainland UK airport by prefixing each address with the word ‘London’.

The move is seen as a way increasing tourism to those parts of the country not normally visited by foreign holidaymakers, by luring in visitors not familiar with the concept of maps.

62-year-old American Jethrow Walton told us, “We took a trip to London last year, and quite frankly, it was rubbish.

“We flew into an area of London known as ‘Luton’, but we couldn’t find anything about it in the guide books.

“There were no palaces, theatres, or bridges – just an overwhelming sense of desolation.

“After 10 days of wandering around housing estates which appeared to be an homage to the fallen Eastern bloc countries, we left for home quite disappointed.

“I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone. Oh, and don’t forget to get your jabs if you decide to risk it.”


Airport owners have been quick to defend the renaming decision, “Okay, so they’re not technically IN London, but where do you draw the line?”

“10 miles away like London Heathrow?  30 miles like London Gatwick?  60 miles like London Oxford? 300 miles like London Newcastle?

“We are confident this will significantly raise the profile of some of our smaller regional airports.

“Plus, all those stupid international visitors are likely to land and spend money on site before realising they are slap bang in the middle of fucking nowhere.”

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