Tuesday 28 October 2014

David Cameron receives counselling after contact with dreadlocks

Cameron jogger dreadlocks

Prime minister David Cameron is today receiving counselling after coming into contact with a member of the public sporting what he has been told are ‘dreadlocks’.

Cameron was leaving a meeting in Leeds when a jogger with dreadlocks got close enough for him to actually feel the dreadlocks against his clothes.

A number 10 insider told us, “The prime minister obviously knew what a ‘dreadlock’ was, in a general sense, anyway. But seeing one, or several, up close like that is a shock to the system.”

“You grow up with an idea of what hair is supposed to be like, and then someone puts that in front of you. He needs time to deal with it.”

“As you can imagine, there aren’t many people in the prime ministers social circle who sport such a hairstyle.”

“When we told him people don’t actually wash their dreadlocks he called for a sick bag. We daren’t tell him they belonged to someone who was working class as he might go into shock.”

PM brush with jogger

Experts have said that after a short period of counselling the prime minister will be back operating at 100%.

The Downing Street insider concluded, “We’ve had to explain that the man was out jogging, a technique used by members of the electorate to keep healthy and retain their vitality – but this just confused the prime minister even more.”

“He wanted to ask that if the man was just trying to stay young and healthy, why didn’t he just consume the souls of a few poor people, like everyone in the cabinet does?”

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