Friday 24 October 2014

China applauds politely as Zuckerberg slowly explains he’d like to ‘sex dump grandma’

Zuckerberg China speech

Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg has received polite applause from a Chinese university audience, despite accidentally telling them in Mandarin that he would like to do rude things to their grandmothers.

The Facebook boss was talking to students at the Tsinghua University School of Economics and Management, and was keen to show how much Mandarin Chinese he had learnt since his pledge to learn the language in 2010.

As one Chinese audience member explained, “Mandarin is not easy, and mistakes from Westerners are common – but how he referred to his time in Beijing as an ‘endless miserable sweaty bum chain’ I’ll never know.”

“And I don’t even know what ‘sex dump grandma’ actually means, but I hope he plans to buy her dinner first.”

“There were a few other funny ones, like how the way he tried to describe China ‘a land of culture and history’, and instead his accent made it sound like he called China ‘an absolute f*cking goldmine’ – that was hilarious.”

Zuckerberg speaks Chinese

Another student in the audience said the despite his errors, they were all pleased to see him make the effort to court China.

They told us, “At one point he was asked about plans for Facebook in China, and he said ‘You are all sheep to me, sheep with dollar signs on their back that I have every intention of chasing like a dog’.”

“I’ve no idea what he was actually trying to say, probably some strange Western idiom, but it was clearly a hilarious mis-translation.”

“These things can happen, and we appreciate the effort – he is a funny man!”

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