Dwindling wildlife numbers ‘great news for golf course designers’

author avatar by 10 years ago

Global wildlife populations have halved in the last 40 years, freeing up great swathes of land to do more interesting things with.

The new Living Planet Index by the London Zoological Society claims that the drastic fall is a direct result of human intervention across the planet.

The news has been welcomed by golf course designer Simon Williams who says that acquiring land previously used by wildlife is often the best way to build a challenging resort for golfers looking to spend some money.

He told us, “It’s become increasingly difficult to find the amount of land we need due to ‘conservation concerns’ – but it seems that this battle is pretty much lost already, so bring on the development!”

“The animals are going, so why not just let me crack on and get this par 5 built around this lake?”

NewsThump Hoodies

“I mean it is a shame, to think of all the government and charity money wasted trying to save these animals.”

“They should have taken that cash and instead got in at the ground level on my latest property investment, it’s going to be a big one.”

Wildlife dwindling

Though bad news in the short-term for the animal world, some have said it merely speeds up the inevitable fight back.

A spokesperson for the Lion population said, “It’s Ok, we’ll just take it all back when you all die off in about a hundred years.”

“And I’m being generous with a hundred years.”