Donald Trump calls for ‘verified’ Twitter sycophant accounts

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Donald Trump has bemoaned the rising number of people on Twitter who don’t like him, calling for a return to the days when he could retweet sycophants without concern.

After one of his followers made him retweet a photo of Rose and Fred West by blowing a small amount of smoke up his ass, Trump said the social network must do more to protect celebrities who like to retweet compliments.

Trump told reporters, “It is important that elite Twitter users like myself can retweet genuine sycophants without worrying if they are taking the piss or not.”

“If Twitter were to introduce ‘verified’ sycophant status for users who just want spend all day complimenting celebrities and crying out for a retweet, then this whole process would be much easier.”

“I mean, I could then limit my retweets to people I know are going to make me look good and the whole Internet will be a better place.”

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“It’s about time Twitter took the whole issue of celebrity sycophancy more seriously.”

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Social media experts have warned that verified sycophant status would be difficult to monitor, and even harder to enforce.

Consultant Simon Williams explained, “What do you do for the Twitter user who says Cheryl Cole is the most gifted artist of her generation, but that Louis Walsh is only qualified to work on the bins?”

“They go from sycophant to troll in the space of one tweet.”

“That said it would probably be best all round if we just ignore anything Donald Trump says. Seriously, that man would retweet Islamic State if they said his golf course was nice.”