Saturday 6 September 2014

Obama keen to build ‘bigger and better’ Stone Henge in US

Obama at Stone Henge

US President Barack Obama has celebrated his visit to Stone Henge by announcing federal funding for a giant henge of their own in America.

The President took time out from the Nato summit in Cardiff to visit the 4,000 year-old monument in the Wiltshire countryside, before explaining how plans were afoot for the United States to make an improved version.

Obama told reporters during his a press conference back in Cardiff, “Much as I enjoyed the visit to the Stone Henge, I found it lacking a certain american flair.”

“I think we could make our own henge, but maybe use more glass and marble, some classy neon uplighting, you know? And there wasn’t a Starbucks anywhere near it.”

“It’s a nice idea though, and I have already set aside funding to begin construction of our own henge somewhere in Washington.”

Obama visits Stone Henge

US officials have said that their track record of improving on things they find around the world means that the US henge will be an incredible place to visit.

US spokesperson Chuck Goldberg explained, “We very much admire the nice old things you guys have over here, and we’re keen to have our own versions back in the US.”

“Only, you know, bigger, better, and shinier.”

“Take Windsor Castle, that place is incredible, but I’ve no idea why the Queen had it built so close to Heathrow.”

“That’s just one example of a mistake that we definitely won’t make.”

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