Televised Scottish Independence debate ‘still going strong’ in pub round corner

author avatar by 8 years ago

Last night’s BBC Scottish Independence debate has entered its thirteenth hour in a pub around the corner from the studio, according to sources.

Both Alistair Darling and Alex Salmond are continuing to vociferously berate each other, goaded on by a crowd of supporters who have been drinking since approximately 9pm last night.

One of those present in the pub told us, “They came in for a quick drink after the show, then stood at opposite ends of the bar shouting further abuse at each other. It was great.”

“Lots of drinking later and it’s become a bit more shouty than the televised bit – which seemed impossible a couple of hours ago – and they’re a bit slower and slurring a bit more now, but it makes excellent entertainment.”

“Also Alex Salmond is down to his vest and has his tie around his forehead, and Alistair Darling is now topless with his shirt hanging out of his waist like a skirt.”

“Darling just called Salmond a fat impotent twat deluded by his own sense of importance, and Salmond accused Darling of being an ‘eyebrow c*nt’ and sucking Cameron’s cock.”

“They both got a round of applause for that particular exchange.”

“Neither seems to want to be the first one to refuse a drink from the ‘on the fence supporters in the bar’, so it’s getting really interesting now.”

“I can barely hear either of them shouting over each other, but unlike the studio debate at least I’ve got a drink in my hand now. Which is nice.”

“Which way will I vote? Well, I don’t trust either of them as far as I can throw them, so I’ve got no bloody idea.”

“We’ll see which one passes out first.”