Tuesday 19 August 2014

People you don’t recognise enter house you don’t care about

Celebrity Big Brother 2014

A range of people you wouldn’t know if you passed them on the street are going to live in a house you couldn’t give a toss about, all for your entertainment, it emerged this morning.

The latest series of Celebrity Big Brother has begun by redefining ‘celebrity’ to include a range of inanimate objects used in everyday life.

A Channel 5 spokesperson said the ‘Celebrity’ moniker for the show was very much aspirational, and no legal claim was being made as to the social status of the participants.

“So you can’t complain, about any of it,” they clarified.

Viewer Simon Williams told us, “According to Channel 5, this 1 litre capacity tupperware box that I use every day for my lunch, is actually a ‘Celebrity’.”

“It’s not been forthcoming with the autographs though.”

“Though it is more recognisable than most of the people in the house itself.”

Celebrity big brother

Contestants this year include that woman who was in that thing, and that guy you saw once doing that stuff on television late at night when you got home from the pub.

Williams went on, “They should really just add ‘Wannabe’ in front of the word Celebrity – it would be much more accurate.”

“The irony is, they’re scraping the bottom of the barrel so hard these days, the people in the celebrity version are less well-known now than the actual Big Brother contestants themselves.”

“Which to be clear, is not very well-known – at all.”

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