Wednesday 30 July 2014

UK road users demand driverless cars learn appropriate ‘wanker sign’

Driverless cars require ability to handle abuse

As driverless cars were approved for UK roads, drivers everywhere explained they would never be accepted until they can adequately abuse their fellow road users.

The UK government has announced that driverless cars will be allowed on public roads from January next year, and drivers will subsequently be expected to update the way they interact with other drivers.

Driver Simon Williams told us, “I’m not sure about this be honest. I can lift my hand from the wheel to signal thanks to another driver giving way to me, but how do I do that to a computer?”

“But more importantly, how can a computer understand me calling it a wanker and me miming that it must be deficient in the head when it pulls out in front of me?”

“This abuse is a road-based interaction as much a part of driving on British roads as passing a test, and unless these driverless cars understand rudimentary swearing and hand gestures, I can’t see how this is workable?”

“There is a certain amount of satisfaction in berating a moron driver for some ridiculous manoeuvre – and without that I can see my stress levels going through the roof.”

“Maybe in twenty years all the abuse will be between passengers berating each others computers?”

“I guess I could live with that.”

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