Women left breathless by the trailer for the forthcoming film adaptation of 50 Shades of Grey have been pointed in the direction of the nearest adult website for an early erotic fix.
The first teaser trailer for the film was released yesterday, to find itself shared by any woman who has ever read the book, along with comments such as ‘phwoar’ and ‘i cant wait!!!!’.
The excitement has left many men bemused, and failing to grasp why they are so excited about a film that will likely have less shagging in it than Basic Instinct.
Man Simon Williams told us, “I sort of got it when they said the book left a lot to their imagination, and how that was far sexier than actually seeing it – but this is a film, so there isn’t a whole lot of imagination involved.”
“Plus, if you really want to watch two people shagging in HD I’ve got plenty of URLs I could share with you. Well, if you don’t mind annoying chat windows and poker adverts that is.”
“I mean, why would I pay £20 for two tickets to watch some actors faking it, when I can watch two people doing it for real, for free online?”
“Plus you can’t masturbate in a cinema – well, not a second time.”
Fifty shades of Grey trailer released
Other men have also been left baffled by the desire to consume fap-fodder whilst paying £8 for popcorn.
Mike Jokes explained, “It’s pretty hard to get sexually aroused in a room full of strangers when you’ve paid for a coke that costs more per volume than petrol.”
“Oh, it’ll mostly be women?”