Tuesday 22 July 2014

Ukraine rebels ‘apologise’ after flight recorders used to tape Top of the Pops

Malaysian Flight recorders

Ukrainian rebels have apologised after the black box flight recorders from downed flight MH17 were accidentally used to record Top of the Pops repeats.

It had been hoped that the recorders would offer insight into the cause of the crash, though that evidence has now been accidentally erased.

A spokesperson for the rebels explained. “There weren’t any other tapes handy, and they were just sitting there. You didn’t want to keep what was on there did you?”

“It’s not like you’d recorded anything import, because you would have put sellotape over that little tab, wouldn’t you?”

Crash investigators first discovered the accidental deletion when listening to the tapes only to hear Dave Lee Travis introducing Spandau Ballet to sing their 1983 hit, ‘True’.

Investigator Simon Williams told us, “We were a bit confused at first, but then a rebel said they had used the taps to record Top of the Pops 2, as they’d run out of VHS tapes.”

“Apparently they conveniently found some Russian instruction manuals showing them exactly how to record over the flight recording’s original soundtrack.”

“What are the chances, eh?”

Malaysian flight recorders

Crash investigators said that the Ukrainian rebels had listened to the recording, and would be willing to offer a first-hand account of what was previously on the tape.

Williams continued, “Apparently it had a brief conversation in which the crew were discussing why the Ukrainian government was trying to shoot them down, and how the Russians wouldn’t ever doing anything like this.”

“They’ve even offered to give this evidence in court, which is nice of them.”

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