Tuesday 15 July 2014

Female church representatives to finally push for equal right to abuse kids

Female bishops

After the Church of England voted to allow female bishops, Christian organisations around the world have been encouraged to allow women to partake in the most secret of their ‘male only’ rituals.

Church goer Sharon Williams said the first female bishop will be a step in the right direction, but until female Christians in churches all over the world give equal encouragement to female representatives to abuse the children in their care, then they will never be truly ‘equal’.

She explained, “Look at the catholic church, and how much money has been spent covering abuses by the females within their ranks – it’s a pitiful amount.”

“But then look at the amount spent protecting the men and it suddenly runs into the millions.”

“That’s just not fair.  Giving us women titles is all well and good, but why not give us the power to fiddle with the younger members of the congregation?”

“Sure, we don’t have a penis to put anywhere, so some of the abuse would be difficult for us to accomplish, but they said a woman could never be a bishop, too – and we’ve made that work OK.”

“Honestly, I have a dream that one day the horrendous things done by the Christian churches around the world could equally have been done by a man or a woman.”

“And that day is coming, thankfully.”

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