Friday 11 July 2014

Obese diabetics still struggling with concept of putting fewer things in their mouths

Obesity and diabetes

More gastric band surgery for overweight type 2 diabetics has been announced, after the NHS admitted the concept of eating less was proving difficult for many of them to understand.

The National Institute of Health and Care Excellence (NICE) said that surgery might be the only option for tens of thousands of diabetics unable to stop putting edible things in their mouths.

A spokesperson for NICE explained, “Something must be done to help these people, and saying things like ‘put fewer things in your mouth or you’ll die’ doesn’t seem to be having the desired effect.”

“Cutting them open and making their stomachs smaller seems like a much more efficient way of tackling the issue of people who don’t do what their doctors tell them to do.”

“Yes, it might cost a bit more in the long run, but like the old saying goes, if you can’t stop them eating cakes, make the place they put the cakes a bit smaller.”

“Or something.”

Diabetes operations

Cancer patient Simon Williams spoke of his delight at the new guidelines.

“Consistently eating more food than you should is a medical tragedy I can completely empathise with.”

“I am glad the NHS has made this a priority, as short of stitching someone’s hand to their side I simply don’t know how they can address this medical disaster.”

“The more money they throw at this, the better.”

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