Friday 9 May 2014

Nice middle-class boy becomes Islamic militant after eating Halal sandwich

Halal converted my teenage son

The Daily Mail has reported an exclusive horror story of a nice white middle-class boy who became an Islamic militant after eating a sandwich that contained Halal meat.

In the Mail exclusive, 14 year-old Simon Williams was just a ‘normal’ boy according to his parents, until he ate a Subway club sandwich just five days ago.

Now they say he won’t leave his room for hours on end, and they can hear strange noises at weird times of day coming from inside.

His mother told a rapt Daily Mail reporters, “He’s definitely a Muslim now, it’s the only explanation. Those noises must be prayers and stuff.”

“He also said all his clothes are rubbish and he needs money for new ones, which can only mean he wants one of those sheet things their men wear.”

“Plus he won’t eat any of the food I’ve cooked for him, declaring it all ‘disgusting’ – I bet it’s because it wasn’t brutally killed with a big knife by an imam or something.”

“Subway should go to prison forever for what they’ve done to my little boy.”

Halal turned him Muslim

When asked by the Daily Mail reporter if they thought what had happened to their son was part of a giant Muslim conspiracy to Islamise the entire nation, Williams’ parents said “Yeah, I guess so.”

However Williams’ father did sound one note of caution, saying “Yes, I mean technically the only difference between the Halal meat and the normal meat is that a prayer was said when the animal was killed,”

“But that’s not the point – it’s the Muslims!”

I think, therefore I am (not a Daily Mail reader)

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