Christian Tories urged to seek definition of ‘delusion’

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Leading figures in the Conservative party have been urged to invest in a good dictionary and turn to the entry for ‘delusion’, after continuing to promote their Christian ideology.

Attorney General Dominic Grieve and Work and Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan Smith both said that atheists are deluded if they don’t believe everything around us happens at the whim of a giant sky fairy that no-one can see.

“I don’t think that word means what he thinks it means,” said one non-moron reading their comments this morning.

“Reading the numbers on a recent poll which showed most people in this country have no religion at all is not deluded, whilst reading the archaic words inside a two-thousand book and believing them to be literally true most definitely is deluded.”

“In fact, it is almost the dictionary-perfect definition of delusion.”

“They should probably think about replacing the current dictionary entry with a picture of Dominic Grieve and Iain Duncan-Smith sitting there nodding their heads whilst reading the Bible.”

Atheist delusion

Atheists have responded to the claims of their delusion by laughing and pointing at random pages of the King James Bible.

As one atheist explained, “If I told you that I believed Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone was literally true, and that the magic inside it definitely happened, but my only evidence for this ‘truth’ was that I read it in the book itself, you’d have me sectioned for my own protection.”

“But change that for the Bible and suddenly everyone around me is deluded.”

“Then again, here we are wondering about the sanity of two people who think George Osborne is a financial genius. So a bit of harmless make-believe seems OK in that context.”

Jesus – Like Santa, but for grown-ups