A £90 England shirt will be heavily discounted following the team’s humiliating exit from this summer’s World Cup, according to retailers.
The FA has come in for much criticism for the expensively priced replica shirt, but a spokesperson defended the price saying that it included an ‘expectation fee’.
They went on, “The £90 price includes the expectation fee of about £40 – you are paying for that feeling you get when you think anything is possible.”
“It’s the almost childlike anticipation of something wonderful. Yes, we’re not a charity so of course we’ve managed to put a price on that.”
“Unfortunately that feeling will have faded completely by the time we’ve lost to Uruguay in the group stages and are already looking to book our flights home.”
“At that point the shirts will be available without the expectation fee for a mere £50. For which you will receive a free package of abject disappointment to wallow in.”
“The fabric is also extremely good at absorbing the tears of fans looking at their credit card statements.”
England shirt released
Fans have welcomed to new England shirt, insisting the replica makes them feel like one of the team on their way to Brazil.
England fan Simon Williams explained, “I had to buy one, because it’s more than just looking like I’m part of the team.”
“It’s about learning what it feels like to play for England.”
“And what better way to feel like a modern millionaire footballer than to prance around in a t-shirt that cost you £90.”
“Though admittedly I do feel a bit sick now that I’ve said that out loud.”