Wednesday 19 March 2014

Hurry up and tell us about the fags, nation’s smokers wheeze at Chancellor

Budget 2014

The nation’s wheezing smokers are glued to their televisions wishing George Osborne would just hurry up and tell them how much fags are going up by.

As Osborne continues talking about growth, borrowing and OBR forecasts, millions of people are looking for the fast forward button.

Smoker Simon Williams explained, “I only care about fags and booze, so why can’t he just lead with the important stuff and then do all this tedious economic bumph afterwards?”

“I understand there are people who are interested in it, but it just seems like political point scoring to me, whilst I want to know if stocking up on Marlboro Lights yesterday was a good idea.”

“Jesus, now he’s talking about inflation.”

“Get on with it man, this fag break won’t last all day!”

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