Wednesday 5 March 2014

Farage ‘turned down’ Doctor Who role over requirement to be nice to aliens

Nigel Farage turned down Doctor Who

UKIP leader Nigel Farage allegedly turned down the chance to succeed Matt Smith as the latest incarnation of the Doctor, after insisting his version of the Doctor would adopt a zero tolerance attitude to aliens.

Actor and ‘Sweariest Scot’ runner up Peter Capaldi ultimately landed the much coveted role, however reports suggest that he was not the show’s first choice.

The BBC were said to be attracted to Farage’s love of tweed, a long-term staple of the Doctor’s wardrobe, as well as his dislike of aliens and those from faraway shores.

One producer commented, “If foreigners from his own planet can rile him to the extent that they do, then imagine what a Space Pig would do to him? It would be electric onscreen. He would have been perfect!”

However, Farage was initially sceptical about the show’s concept, arguing that EU flight taxes would strongly inhibit the Tardis’ flying capabilities.

He also commented during one audition that, “there are no villains more heinous than the monsters running the EU megastate and their gelatinous immigrant drones.”

Farage as Doctor Who

There were further complications when the UKIP leader expressed a desire to have a leading creative input.

He is said to have suggested his own plotline in which the Doctor simply takes the Tardis to 1933 and destroys it forever.

“It would be a fast-track to UKIP’s Britain,” he commented.

When the show’s producers revealed he would be expected to travel to distant galaxies, his demands proved too much for BBC executives.

Pubs serving real ale, his favourite brand of cigarettes, Radio 4 and transportation via steam train were just some on a long-list.

The show was then forced to look elsewhere for their star, which according to executives is a shame, as they had been excited about the prospect of making Angela Merkel a convincing nemesis.

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