Thursday 13 February 2014

Independent Scotland would ‘return to barter system’, claims Alex Salmond

Alex Salmond on Scottish currency

Scotland doesn’t need money as a medium of exchange, according the First Minister of Scotland Alex Salmond this morning.

As the future of the pound in Scotland becomes a hot political topic, Salmond insisted the resourceful people of Scotland could acquire all the goods and services they need through a series of bartering negotiations.

Salmond told reporters, “The pound isn’t as important as Westminster likes to think it is, and we wouldn’t need it, or any other English-style ‘currency’ as these non-Scottish experts like to say we would.”

“Mankind got along for centuries using bartering, and Scotland could once again become the bartering capital of the world.”

“Forget foreign currency exchanges in their shiny sky scrapers, business people will flock to Scotland to swap coffee beans for whiskey in dirty warehouses.”

“Our people will be paid in food and products, and they in turn will pay for what they need with their own produce and services. It is a foolproof way to economic prosperity for all of Scotland.”

Scottish independence

Not all Scots have welcomed Salmond’s proposal, insisting they can already see a couple of issues with a nationwide barter system.

Window cleaner Graeme Williams told us, “I’m not sure it would work, I spoke to Vodafone this morning to see if I could change my £30 a month contract to one where I cleaned their office windows once a month.”

“They laughed for a bit, put me on speaker to explain my offer to everyone else that end, then they hung up on me.”

However call centre operative David McTaggart told us, “I can definitely see the benefits to being paid in produce.”

“If the company could pay me directly in whiskey then it would mean I wouldn’t have to waste all that time and effort converting my wages into it.”

“That would be nice.”

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