Thursday 30 January 2014 by Gary Stanton

Jon Snow still confident he is ‘in there’ with lap dancer

Jon Snow stripper

Jon Snow is still weighing up his chances of having sex with an eighteen year old lap dancer whom he interviewed for Channel 4 News.

Snow met pretty Kimberley Egerton in the West End’s Spearmint Rhino branch where he was doing a feature on exploitation in the workplace.

While posing with his camera crew the newsreader’s attention was caught by lithe-limbed Egerton who was performing contortions around a thick metal pole.

“As our eyes met I felt a surge of energy,” said Snow, “Although I can’t rule out static from the couch I was sat on.”

“Kimberley seemed really interested in the work I do and put me at ease straight away. She told me she was only lap dancing to fund her degree course. So not your average trollop.”

“What seemed really significant is how Kim maintained eye contact throughout the five-minute dance and on several occasions leaned in really close so I could feel her breath on my cheek.”

“There was a real intimacy there which remained undiminished despite the cat-calls from the rest of the news crew.”

Jon Snow’s lapdance

Unfortunately for Snow, his enjoyment was curtailed by bouncers who found him in breach of house rules after his cheek accidentally grazed Ms Egerton’s left nipple.

“As several blows rained down on me, Kim showed real concern for my plight – even asking me if I was alright before pressured to dance by another punter.”

“There was a real deep connection there, almost spiritual you might say – one which I felt had nothing to do with my highly paid job in television.”

Snow added, “I can’t wait to invite her back on the programme to show her this tattoo I’ve had done with her name on it.”

“Actually I hope to Christ that’s her real name because I’m going to look like a right twat if it isn’t.”

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