Sunday 19 January 2014

UKIP pledges to send homosexual couples to drought affected areas

UKIP Gay Weather

UKIP has announced a new manifesto policy by offering to send groups of homosexuals to those parts of the world suffering drought, ensuring God sends them the rain they need.

After UKIP councillor David Silvester linked homosexuality to God sending copious amounts of rain to a given region, party leaders have been quick to use the link between gays and the weather to develop a new policy they hope will prove popular.

A UKIP spokesperson explained, “People often say we’re racist and don’t care about foreigners and immigrants, but this policy is aimed at helping them stay where they are, by sending them some homosexual-infused rain.”

“These are some of the most arid places on earth, desperate for a bit of rain that UKIP is happy to help them receive.”

“And this helps both parties – because they get some respite from their drought, and we get to not have them cross our borders whilst also getting to send some homosexuals out of the country.”

“It’s the very definition of win-win which I’m sure will prove popular with our core supporters.”

UKIP pledges drought help

Political analysts say that UKIP may have hit upon a masterstroke, and should see them wrap up the lucrative racist homophobe vote long before the local elections are held in May.

The UKIP spokesperson went on, “We have spent years watching film of drought-ridden African countries and thought to ourselves ‘not my problem mate’ – but now we can help them by sending them gay couples who want to get married.”

“We are calling the ones that want to get married the ‘rain-makers’, and I imagine they would be very welcome in places like Sudan and Ethiopia.”

“so although they are technically an abomination according to the Bible, they clearly have their uses.”

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