England ‘must keep faith with Alistair Cook,’ say Sri Lankans set to tour in May

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English cricket should persevere with under-fire captain Alistair Cook, advised Sri Lankan players due to tour the country this spring.

“Cook has been criticised, but he really is the best man for the job,” said his Sri Lankan counterpart Angelo Mathews. “We fear him, we really honestly do.”

“Definitely,” added his international colleague Rangana Herath, covering his hand with his mouth and looking away.

“It is a tough position,” admitted Mathews. “But he will be a key factor in this tour, and England should not change tack now.”

Cook criticised

Mathews thinks that much of the adverse comment about Cook’s style is unfair.

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“Take the Boxing Day test,” he insisted. “He was pilloried for being slow to react to events on the field, but he got a second slip in there absolutely first thing in the morning of January 8th.”

“And the incident at the tour party where he chose Joe Root for the ‘Best Spinner With A Turban And A Beard’ award was just a silly misunderstanding.”

“If you ask me, he has been undermined by other figures in the dressing room,” continued the Sri Lankan.

“You cannot afford to have that, and they would be best advised to drop that Kevin Pietersen right away. Besides, he is crap and a waste of space.”

“Drop him right away, definitely,” agreed Herath, nodding furiously.

Mathews is heavily involved in tour planning for the team’s much-anticipated visit to England.

“It is important for us to have good hotels and practice facilities,” he said. “Also, where is the best place to buy a big lot of champagne?”